Who is Lord Kalin? ...Who wants to know..
Oh it's you... well perhaps...
Lord Kalin came to this planet as a cultural anthropologist from his native world (don't ask which one, if I told you I would have to collect you as a specimen...oh ick) and since Sol III is such a intersteller backwater he entertains himself collecting and showing Medieval Recreationists. He Entertains Himself by Binding them to the Furniture and Gently Tickling them until the LifeForce comes giggling out where he can collect it. He finds the Damsels can't resist the lure of the Dread Bed, and the Dread Throne, and ask him to be chained in them.
His favorite food is the life force of puny mortal Earthers( it's nutritious but not filling).
I'm laughing at you Puny Mortal!